Alina Sawuła

My Silence

© Alina Sawuła, 2023

„My Silence” is an intriguing journey inside the author’s mind, filled with fear and fear for the smallest matter. With each successive line, the reader is drawn deeper into the recesses of himself. You learn what it is to walk on the edge, and finally reflects on your own reflection on your life. „My Silence” is full of comparisons and metaphors that each of you can relate to as your own „I”. The poems from the volume of poetry „My Silence” were written by the author at the age of 19.

ISBN 978-83-8324-678-9

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

Contents

1. My Silence

2. Come

3. …•Open your mind, your journey starts here…

1. My Silence

2. Love

3. Chosen

4. Bird

5. Moment

6. Morning

7. You

8. To you

9. Confession

10. Moose

11. Attachment

12. A few worlds

13. Rat

14. For whom-what?

15. Dream

4. …•Find yourself … you are the most important person for yourself, and you decide which door you open and which you close…

1. Thinks

2. Friend

3. Zenek

5. …•Close your eyes, swim…

1. Thanks for the end

Come

Feel,

And go on a journey with me

…slowly…

…and deeper and deeper…

…deeper…

Step by step…

Until you reach the deepest place…

…a place hidden so deep that you even don’t expect it to exist

Places behind closed doors

And that’s where I want to lead you…

…•Open your mind, your journey starts here…

My Silence

O silence pale, O silence deaf

You hug me sweetly

What a cute pillow.

You’re rustling like gold.

To the ear in a dream,

Steamed up windows,

Golden pale day.

And yet,

If I missed you

No, I don’t want that

I won’t let it change

And exist like

Heaven and earth.

What is from the beginning

Like light and darkness,

Closed thread.

It penetrates me.

So sad.

When I see you!

My love grows.

When I cuddle up

I cuddle into your arms.

Love

About youth beautiful, trivial

Be nice to me today

Let my heart be pierced

It didn’t have to be penance

Torment yourself for the rest of your life

It wasn’t trying to hide

Let it be beautiful

Let at least a shadow of joy fall

And enlighten the cataract of anger

What reigns from love

Very fragile unfulfilled

But forgiven for that

Will it stop hurting, to bleed?

Will he stop preaching?

Though that time has passed

A year has flown across the ocean

I cannot be happy

All love is treacherous

Will I stop thinking stupidly?

Will I stop being sad?

Great sadness bitter tears

They fill my dreams at night

Although today fate changed life

I secretly think about him all the time

That the sun rises in the morning

Nobody will be the chosen one

Even if the spark falls

He won’t steal my heart

Even if there were thousands of them

Even if they were soothing

Nobody can ease the pain of this

No one will even guess why

The trees in the wild sing

And the leaves chime softly

On a rainy autumn day

In my heart, there is sadness and grief

The wind passes through minds

My dreams have gone somewhere

I should be happy today

Have fun at the party

And I sit and sulk

I bite myself all the time

Chosen

Though time passes, like in a novel

Bring me good news today

Be with me forever

Come in the bright dark night

Come on a heavenly horse

Leaving an hour later

And don’t come back until I sleep

And don’t come back in the daytime either

Be painted like in a fairy tale

We talk very modestly

Make thousands of my dreams come true

Soothe my aching heart

Let me find support in you today

Let me find my strength again

Extend your right hand to me

Show me my future

I don’t want to think about what will happen

Say at least one sentence

Who wants me who dreams of me

Who am I going to pair up with tomorrow?

If with you along a dirt road

In poor weather

Only I know about you

I think all day long

It’s true, but not

We’ll meet today though

Then everything will be clear

I’ll crackle in the sky

Oh, gorgeous with pale hair

You live lightly in the heavens

Come down to earth and feel the joy

Pain anger superhuman weakness

Lock up old history

Fulfill my eternal hopes

If not, get out of here!

Before I make another mistake

Bird

Speak, bird in the thorn bush

Nothing can replace your singing

What beautiful music

You pour notes like from a basket

You must know, darling

You are beautiful and wonderful

You don’t have to be afraid of the bush

You can willingly give your all.

What if the branches sang to you?

And the leaves played softly for you

What if flowers danced for you?

And they folded their arms up.

I can hear singing, is that?… it’s impossible

These are my vicious thoughts

Ah, you are swinging green leaf

In the wind in every direction

The golden sun shines with all its might

Don’t let the bindweed get stuck between the roses

Bird, please don’t stop singing

So, I wouldn’t have to feel bad about it.

…tiri… tiri… tiri…

.tiri… tiri…

A thorn from the bush pierced through

And your singing is gone.

Moment

Your pale face

They paint beautiful wall paintings

So one sweet look

It takes the spell into a silent dream

The heart is raging, asked to dance

He wants to find the limits of the edge

I don’t want to and I have to

End squeeze smother

Wave of desire flame

Two souls merge into one

She melted into a sheet of blue

Behind the ice life

The touch of hot rays

Dispels the array of burning trees

One moment of sunshine

A thunderclap from the sky

Pour eternity into such a short time

To envelop us in the utopia of the moment

To the end of the world

For many years

Let the embers pour

At heaven’s gates.

Morning

In the mist in my dream

Trunks bathed in blue

The sweetness of the morning

Poured into a jug

Bitter evenings

Long morning glory

Flowing floes

Like white dogs

Evil wind blow

Water club, wobble, wobble

Rain from the sky

Life needs water

Buds need sun

To the end of the world

Silver dew

For the heather to bloom

Warm evenings

The morning page.

Pulsatile are blooming

We weave wreaths

We throw into the water

Like under the feet of a log

Life flows, the river flows

Nobody waits for the morning anymore

You

You are the sun in the sky

A beautiful bird on a bush

A bright twinkle in my eye

Golden star after dark

An angel sent to earth

A light that illuminates the dark

My soul my heart

They hear these words all the time

Warm, sweet like raspberries

Cold, bloody as thorns

Sometimes indifferent

Other times weird cloudy

You are the happiness I know

A white mist in heaven’s gates

A wonderful eagle somewhere in space

A pond that shimmers

You are like golden sand

Only one in my dreams

Everything I adore about you

Only in myself today

I can’t choke out a word

Why will I tempt our fate?

Everything will come but in a moment

Though that time has passed

You are rain in the desert

My only thoughts

Eternal happy joy

Never in anger

You are like the moon in the sky

Because I love only you

On sad rainy days

I want to tell you

About those sparkles of golden sand

Mists of the sun about my fear

Then the wind will sing me a song

One moon will return

With every word that describes you

You’ll listen even more

To the sound of the sea of waves

Which keep flowing

In the quiet birds singing

Storm clouds anger

So be what you were

What were you hiding in the shadows

In front of the hot sun

What a scorching ray

You were warmed by the strength of all the mountains

Overcoming every most dangerous mortal

Come hug me today, my love

Let the day not be written off.

To you

For me, for myself, for these moments together

Which bind us together like a ship and a hundred miles

Like the sun, moon and stars in the sky

I am writing this poem just for you

Day after day only with me

A slice of life in the dark night

A drop of dew with the glow of the sun from the bottom of the morning

A white flower for a miracle of fragrance from a handful of wreaths

Of the dark mouth of the grotto of terror

These cruel shot sufferings

Gone as with a storm wind

Like the moment of a rain shadow

No pain and endless joy

Without anger and immoral jealousy

How many repetitions from the pastime

They will be made like a satin bed

Will I say these two words three times?

They will be torn as mentioned

Brings atrocities like spring green

Will a black and white image turn into color?

Do each question as with the answer

Will you spend them even in confession?

What a small drop from the stream is reverent moments No fabulous slander, no hellish mockery

With a sweet embrace, he will wind the flags

You wrap me in a bright ray of thread

From a nice time, like from a book

Memories of golden autumn

No new road will cross it

A beautiful breath torn by the enemy

The accursed hour of July has begun

When I met him with a tainted word

Compare the cares you gave me

It’s like it doesn’t matter if you read this letter

When you lack trust as in empty water well

You can be free as a young bird today

If you choose darkness over light

Let it burst like a dream interrupted by a crash

And although I would disagree with this fact

And I change every decision suddenly

Everyone’s choice is their own

I can’t change it with anything bright

One without embracing the shadow

You are the only one without a doubt

Whenever, I put a question mark

It is left unanswered without comparison

Like a meadow covered with blooming flowers

Some thorn inside always blushes

Just like life, even if it’s a bed of roses

He always has spikes hidden up his sleeve

This and the ability to sketch in the hand of a draftsman

It changes and ends like a chronicle

Even though I doubted love a long time ago

Your person changed it

Forgetting pain is like having a name

When it is inflicted, it stays in the shadows

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