A Gentleman and Lady travelling
from Tunbridge towards that part of the Sussex coast which lies
between Hastings and Eastbourne, being induced by Business to quit
the high road, and attempt a very rough Lane, were overturned in
toiling up its long ascent, half rock, half sand. The accident
happened just beyond the only Gentleman's House near the Lane-a
House, which their Driver on being first required to take that
direction, had conceived to be necessarily their object, and had
with most unwilling Looks been constrained to pass by. He had
grumbled, and shaken his shoulders so much indeed, and pitied and
cut his Horses so sharply, that he might have been open to the
suspicion of overturning them on purpose (especially as the
Carriage was not his Masters' own) if the road had not indisputably
become considerably worse than before, as soon as the premises of
the said House were left behind-expressing with a most intelligent
portentous countenance that beyond it no wheels but cart wheels
could safely proceed. The severity of the fall was broken by their
slow pace and the narrowness of the Lane, and the Gentleman having
scrambled out and helped out his companion, they neither of them at
first felt more than shaken and bruised. But the Gentleman had in
the course of the extrication sprained his foot, and soon becoming
sensible of it, was obliged in a few moments to cut short both his
remonstrance to the Driver and his congratulations to his wife and
himself, and sit down on the bank, unable to stand. 'There is
something wrong here', said he, putting his hand to his ankle. 'But
never mind, my Dear' - looking up at her with a smile - 'It could
not have happened, you know, in a better place. Good out of Evil.
The very thing perhaps to be wished for. We shall soon get relief.
There, I fancy, lies my cure' - pointing to the
neat-looking end of a Cottage, which was seen romantically situated
among woods on a high Eminence at some little Distance. 'Does not
thatpromise to be the very place?' His wife fervently
hoped it was, but stood, terrified and anxious, neither able to do
or suggest anything, and receiving her first real comfort from the
sight of several persons now coming to their assistance. The
accident had been discerned from a Hayfield adjoining the House
they had passed, and the persons who approached were a
well-looking, Hale, Gentlemanlike Man, of middle age, the
Proprietor of the Place, who happened to be among his Haymakers at
the time, and three or four of the ablest of them summoned to
attend their Master - to say nothing of all the rest of the field,
Men, Women and Children - not very far off. Mr. Heywood, such was
the name of the said Proprietor, advanced with a very civil
salutation, much concern for the accident, some surprise at any
body's attempting that road in a Carriage, and ready offers of
assistance. His courtesies were received with Goodbreeding and
gratitude and while one or two of the Men lent their help to the
Driver in getting the Carriage upright again, the Traveller said :
'You are extremely obliging, Sir, and I take you at your word. The
injury to my Leg is, I dare say, very trifling, but it is always
best in these cases to have a surgeon's opinion without loss of
time; and as the road does not seem at present in a favourable
state for my getting up to his house myself; I will thank you to
send off one of these good People for the Surgeon.' 'The Surgeon,
Sir!' replied Mr. Heywood, 'I am afraid you will find no surgeon at
hand here, but I dare say we shall do very well without him.' 'Nay,
Sir, if
he is not in the way, his Partner will do just as well-or
rather better. I would rather see his Partner indeed-I would prefer
the attendance of his Partner. One of these good people can be with
him in three minutes I am sure. I need not ask whether I see the
House' (looking towards the Cottage), 'for excepting your own, we
have passed none in this place which can be the abode of a
Gentleman.' Mr. Heywood looked very much astonished, and replied:
'What, Sir! are you expecting to find a Surgeon in that Cottage? We
have neither Surgeon nor Partner in the Parish, I assure you.'
'Excuse me, Sir,' replied the other. 'I am sorry to have the
appearance of contradicting you, but though from the extent of the
Parish or some other cause you may not be aware of the
fact;-stay-Can I be mistaken in the place?-Am I not in
Willingden?-Is not this Willingden?' 'Yes, Sir, this is certainly
Willingden.' 'Then, Sir, I can bring proof of your having a Surgeon
in the Parish-whether you may know it or not. Here, Sir' (taking
out his Pocket book), 'if you will do me the favour of casting your
eye over these advertisements, which I cut out myself from the
Morning Post and the Kentish Gazette, only yesterday morning in
London, I think you will be convinced that I am not speaking at
random. You will find it an advertisement, Sir, of the dissolution
of a Partnership in the Medical Line-in your own Parish-extensive
Business-undeniable Character-respectable references-wishing to
form a separate Establishment. You will find it at full length,
Sir,' offering him the two little oblong extracts. 'Sir,' said Mr.
Heywood with a good-humoured smile, 'if you were to shew me all the
Newspapers that are printed in one week throughout the Kingdom, you
would not persuade me of there being a Surgeon in Willingden, for
having lived here ever since I was born, Man and Boy 57 years, I
think I must have
known of such a person, at least I may venture to say that
he has not
much Business. To be sure, if Gentlemen were to be often
attempting this Lane in Post-chaises, it might not be a bad
speculation for a Surgeon to get a House at the top of the Hill.
But as to that Cottage, I can assure you, Sir, that it is in fact
(in spite of its spruce air at this distance) as indifferent a
double Tenement as any in the Parish, and that my Shepherd lives at
one end, and three old women at the other.' He took the pieces of
paper as he spoke and having looked them over, added, 'I believe I
can explain it, Sir. Your mistake is in the place. There are two
Willingdens in this Country, and your advertisements refer to the
other, which is Great Willingden, or Willingden Abbots, and lies 7
miles off, on the other side of Battle-quite down in the Weald. Andwe, Sir' (speaking rather proudly), 'are not in the
Weald.' 'Not
down in the Weald I am sure, Sir,' replied the Traveller,
pleasantly. 'It took us half an hour to climb your Hill. Well, Sir,
I dare say it is as you say, and I have made an abominably stupid
Blunder. All done in a moment; the advertisements did not catch my
eye till the last half hour of our being in Town, when everything
was in the hurry and confusion which always attend a short stay
there. One is never able to complete anything in the way of
Business, you know, till the Carriage is at the door; and
accordingly satisfying myself with a brief enquiry, and finding we
were actually to pass within a mile of two of a
Willingden, I sought no farther . . . My Dear' (to his
wife), 'I am very sorry to have brought you into this Scrape. But
do not be alarmed about my Leg. It gives me no pain while I am
quiet, and as soon as these good people have succeeded in setting
the Carriage to rights and turning the Horses round, the best thing
we can do will be to measure back our steps into the Turnpike road
and proceed to Hailsham, and so Home, without attempting anything
farther. Two hours take us home, from Hailsham, and when once at
home, we have our remedy at hand, you know. A little of our own
Bracing Sea air will soon set me on my feet again. Depend upon it,
my Dear, it is exactly a case for the Sea. Saline air and immersion
will be the very thing. My sensations tell me so already.' In a
most friendly manner Mr. Heywood here interposed, entreating them
not to think of proceeding till the ankle had been examined, and
some refreshment taken, and very cordially pressing them to make
use of his House for both purposes. 'We are always well stocked,'
said he, 'with all the common remedies for Sprains and Bruises, and
I will answer for the pleasure it will give my Wife and daughters
to be of service to you and this Lady in every way in their power.'
A twinge or two, in trying to move his foot, disposed the Traveller
to think rather more as he had done at first of the benefit of
immediate assistance, and consulting his wife in the few words of
'Well, my Dear, I believe it will be better for us,' turned again
to Mr. Heywood and said: 'Before we accept your Hospitality, Sir,
and in order to do away any unfavourable impression which the sort
of wild-goose chase you find me in may have given rise to, allow me
to tell you who we are. My name is Parker-Mr. Parker of Sanditon;
this Lady, my wife, Mrs. Parker. We are on our road home from
London.
Myname, perhaps, though I am by no means the first of my
Family, holding Landed Property in the Parish of Sanditon, may be
unknown at this distance from the Coast; but Sanditon
itself-everybody has heard of Sanditon, the favourite, for a young
and rising Bathing-place, certainly the favourite spot of all that
are to be found along the coast of Sussex; the most favoured by
Nature, and promising to be the most chosen by Man.' 'Yes, I have
heard of Sanditon,' replied Mr. Heywood. 'Every five years one
hears of some new place or other starting up by the Sea, and
growing the fashion. How they can half of them be filled, is the
wonder!
Where People can be found with Money or Time to go to
them! Bad things for a Country; sure to raise the price of
Provisions and make the Poor good for nothing-as I dare say you
find, Sir.' 'Not at all, Sir, not at all,' cried Mr. Parker
eagerly. 'Quite the contrary, I assure you. A common idea, but a
mistaken one. It may apply to your large, overgrown Places, like
Brighton, or Worthing, or Eastbourne, but
not to a small village like Sanditon, precluded by its
size from experiencing any of the evils of Civilization, while the
growth of the place, the Buildings, the Nursery Grounds, the demand
for every thing, and the sure resort of the very best Company,
those regular, steady, private Families of thorough Gentility and
Character, who are a blessing everywhere, excite the industry of
the Poor and diffuse comfort and improvement among them of every
sort. No, Sir, I assure you, Sanditon is not a place
--' 'I do not mean to take exceptions to
anyplace in particular, Sir,' answered Mr. Heywood; 'I
only think our Coast is too full of them altogether. But had we not
better try to get you--' 'Our Coast too full,' repeated Mr. Parker.
'On that point perhaps we may not totally disagree; at least there
are
enough. Our Coast is abundant enough; it demands no more.
Everybody's Taste and everybody's finances may be suited. And those
good people who are trying to add to the number, are in my opinion
excessively absurd, and must soon find themselves the Dupes of
their own fallacious Calculations. Such a place as Sanditon, Sir, I
may say was wanted, was called for. Nature had marked it out, had
spoken in most intelligible Characters-The finest, purest Sea
Breeze on the Coast-acknowledged to be so-Excellent Bathing-fine
hard sand-Deep Water 10 yards from the Shore-no Mud-no Weeds--no
slimy rocks. Never was there a place more palpably designed by
Nature for the resort of the Invalid-the very Spot which Thousands
seemed in need of. The most desirable distance from London! One
complete, measured mile nearer than Eastbourne. Only conceive, Sir,
the advantage of saving a whole Mile, in a long Journey. But
Brinshore, Sir, which I dare say you have in your eye-the attempts
of two or three speculating People about Brinshore, this last Year,
to raise that paltry Hamlet, lying, as it does, between a stagnant
marsh, a bleak Moor and the constant effluvia of a ridge of
putrefying sea weed, can end in nothing but their own
Disappointment. What in the name of Common Sense is to
recommendBrinshore? A most insalubrious Air-Roads
proverbially detestable-Water Brackish beyond example, impossible
to get a good dish of Tea within 3 miles of the place-and as for
the Soil, it is so cold and ungrateful that it can hardly be made
to yield a Cabbage. Depend upon it, Sir, that this is a faithful
Description of Brinshore-not in the smallest degree exaggerated-and
if you have heard it differently spoken of --' 'Sir, I never heard
it spoken of in my Life before,' said Mr. Heywood. 'I did not know
there was such a place in the World.' 'You did not! There, my Dear'
(turning with exultation to his Wife), 'you see how it is. So much
for the Celebrity of Brinshore! This Gentleman did not know there
was such a place in the World. Why, in truth, Sir, I fancy we may
apply to Brinshore, that line of the Poet Cowper in his description
of the religious Cottager, as opposed to Voltaire-"
She, never heard of half a mile from home."' 'With all my
Heart, Sir, Apply any Verses you like to it. But I want to see
something applied to your Leg, and I am sure by your Lady's
countenance that she is quite of my opinion and thinks it a pity to
lose any more time. And here come my Girls to speak for themselves
and their Mother' (two or three genteel looking young Women,
followed by as many Maid servants, were now seen issuing from the
House). 'I began to wonder the Bustle should not have reached
them. A thing of this kind soon makes a Stir in a lonely
place like ours. Now, Sir, let us see how you can be best conveyed
into the House.' The young Ladies approached and said everything
that was proper to recommend their Father's offers; and in an
unaffected manner calculated to make the Strangers easy, and as
Mrs. Parker was exceedingly anxious for relief; and her Husband by
this time not much less disposed for it, a very few civil scruples
were enough, especially as the Carriage being now set up, was
discovered to have received such Injury on the fallen side as to be
unfit for present use. Mr. Parker was therefore carried into the
House, and his Carriage wheeled off to a vacant Barn.
